Sunday, August 21
i thought of something perfectly cheery this afternoon.
i've forgotten it now.
like how i think up entire poems and then forget to write them down. and lose them forever. some call it stupidity. i call it my fate.
it must have been love, but it's over now.. - thanks to someone, i recieved that song an hour ago. needless to say it has improved my mood slightly. well. sort of. in a depressing way? hell.
i can't explain, but i'm trying to find a way out of this entire bullshit. everytime i get high the low's worse. and the lows follow the highs so much faster than the highs follow the lows. i know i know, shakespeare's wheel of fortune. but i'm human, i'm impatient for the highs and then i dread the lows.
whenever people touch the holes in my uniform and ask what the hell happened back there, i tell them someone tried to kill me. honestly, i have no idea. but everytime someone asks me, my story changes a little. haha. one day i'll run out of ideas.
i thought of your face and then realised i felt nothing. absolutely. nothing. yes you're fwah, but i'm the deep sea fish. actually i'm proud of being the resident deep sea fish. it gratifies me to think that i'm untouchable. that you can't come near me. that you can't hurt me. that i don't give a shit about anyone.. except my friends of course. i realise i've become so vulgar. i tripped and fell and bruised my already bruised knee, and hissed out the f-word. i never did that before. deep sea fish don't swear. do they?
the hell with love. whether i really believe that or not.. is relative. hah!
It Must Have Been Love - RoxetteLay a whisper on my pillow,
Leave the winter on the ground.
I wake up lonely, there’s air of silence
In the bedroom and all around.
Touch me now,
I close my eyes and dream away.
It must have been love but it’s over now.
It must have been good but I lost it somehow.
It must have been love but it’s over now.
From the moment we touched ’til the time had run out.
Make-believing we’re together,
That I’m sheltered by your heart.
But in and outside I’ve turned to water
Like a teardrop in your palm.
And it’s a hard winter’s day, I dream away.
It must have been love but it’s over now,
It was all that I wanted, now I’m living without.
It must have been love but it’s over now,
It’s where the water flows, it’s where the wind blows.
and love too, is relative to the amount of pain you endure giving and recieving it.
it must've been love.
10:20 pm
xoxo
